Mute.: 2012

well this is it.. the sale is still going til whenever the land kicks me for non payment.. so if you haven't checked out the sale.. it's your last chance! Everything is 20 or 50L go grab it while you can!! ... I thank everyone for the support and the countless IMs and NCs I have received.. but it would really take a miracle for me to wanna stay and deal with negativity.. that being said.. I have decided to release a notecard showing a smidgeon of what I have dealt with in hopes you'd understand. ♥ Jay

(here is the contents of the notecard)

I thought being stuck in creating, there would be less drama.. there isn't.. it's a whole new world of it.. other designers cutting people down.. event organizers shunning people because others tell them too... the other day I watched on flickr as some girl got accused of copying.. she then defended herself showing that she bought the item before the other girl and I just watched people say to that girl that basically "doesn't matter.. we like her more" I was in complete shock and totally disgusted.. I haven't been on flickr since and I said to myself.. nope.. don't wanna be part of this no more.

There are some wonderful designers out there, they are kind wonderful people with hearts of gold like the designers in the Forgotten Closet who I've grown to adore. But, there really are some catty mean ones who go out of their way to make people feel like crap.

For example, a blog owner who also runs an event in here and has a small store with tattoos and shapes.(Whisper Mizin of Delusions) I applied to her event early on as a creator.. I was a huge follower of her blog, I liked her tats.. I even went to her store for a custom one when she was a new creator. I looked up to her. When I applied, my application was ignored.. I was told by a mutual friend that she said my ads sucked. So I tried harder and each time I applied, I was shot down again. I was still not "good enough" and she had another of her friends contact me to tell me (Toxxic Rhiannyr of AlterEgo). I gave up and joined with some other people to do an event of our own.. (Forgotten Closet) only to see that girl (Whisper Mizin) post on facebook snide comments about how we were "copying" her and other comments about how we should run our event. (ie. not charge a small fee to cover advertising costs and the like)

Her friend (Toxxic Rhiannyr) that told me was also in Forgotten Closet (AlterEgo) never returned to the event, kept saying she was so swamped.. as I watched her release item after item after item for events, her store, her side store.. I just ignored it. I also ignored the fact that she told me she hasn't been on facebook much.. only to see her post statuses every 10 minutes. However, a friend who helps me now and then decided to speak with her (Hubert Swashbuckler).. within minutes she announced she was leaving the event. I think she was waiting for an excuse to look like the better person ;)

I've had a good friend since I was a little noobie turn on me via notecard (Rogue Falconer of Rotten Defiance) telling me that she didn't like how I was running my store.. she told me that being in so many events and hunts made me look cheap. (I see she now sponsors events for Ego Co.) She would laugh at the fact I used bloggers.. she called them useless and stupid.. etc. (I see she now has a blogger group) I remember convos I had with her where she would put down anyone who used templates.. even though she was using mesh templates.. she told a mutual friend (Hubert Swashbuckler) that "I made her, I can destroy her" (she showed me how to texture a dress in photoshop and made me the template for my ads.. the ones that I was told "sucked" at the beginning) I've learned various things from various people, I've also learned a lot on my own and I appreciate everything and everyone who has been helpful and supportive.

[2012/08/01 08:22] Rogue Falconer: i have to be right next to a stupid template store

[2012/08/01 08:18] Rogue Falconer: i don't think im going to do anymore of missys fair
[2012/08/01 08:18] Rogue Falconer: s
[2012/08/01 08:18] Rogue Falconer: they always suck

[2012/08/01 08:22] Rogue Falconer: she's so fucking stupid
[2012/08/01 08:22] Rogue Falconer: and greedy. i only jumped on this one because im a big supporter of breast cancer

That same girl (Rogue Falconer) would call down people constantly, such as the organizer of Flair for Events.. (Missqwerty Pevensey) but was always there applying for her events, she applied for and got in swagfest for the "free stuff"

[2012/08/25 13:45] Rogue Falconer: im tempted to join swag fest just so i can get the free shit
[2012/08/25 13:45] Jaysee Netizen: hahaha

(here is notecard contents of when Rogue Falconer unfriended me.. I note that the meaness she claims I have is because I was happy that someone who wished me dead left SL.. mean of me right?)

Jay,

I'm writing you this notecard, because I don't want to have it as a conversation, I know what will happen, and I don't want to argue or say things I don't mean.

We've been friends for quite a while and you've always been good to me, supportive and encouraging. But I have gotten to the point where, I see you acting the way you did before, mean and hateful. The constant postings on fb about people who aren't even your friend, but who you keep tabs on and then belittle. Its one thing to be amused about something someone does, it's quite another to post it in a public place where others can bash them too. What business is it of yours that harley left? She did her stupid shit to you, to me, to lots of people I'm sure, but I could less, why can't you?

I'm not walking away to go be friends with harley or star or jaded or any of that, but because, you're showing me you haven't changed, you're still the same jay you were 2 years ago. And I don't like that person.

You can call me jealous you can call me pathetic or whatever, but the way you run your store also goes against everything I believe in. I taught you to do what you do because you asked me too, what I didn't expect, was for you to take something you said you were doing for fun, and make it into something that consumes you life and purpose. Idk if you do it for the money or the because you think it makes you popular but I know it's def not for fun. Fun is when you do something because you enjoy it, not overwhelm yourself putting yourself into every event out there to prove a point or so you can make bank. I tried to be happy that you were succeeding, but I found that I can't, because you do it the fast cheap way, and that to me cheapens your store itself.

I'm disappointed, that you think you can just do whatever you want, to whomever you want, and you think it's okay because you consistently get away with it.

I have a lot of reasons that I'm doing this, some that I'm not listing here, because I'm keeping this brief and to the point. I'm done. It's been fun, but it's time for me to move on and do my own thing.

You can IM me about this, but I won't respond. You can write a notecard, and I'll read it, but again, I won't respond.

Its been real.

Rogue

I did respond to her notecard basically saying that green wasn't her colour and I wished her well. :) but here is the reply I made that I never sent... maybe down the line.. she'll see it :) (as I know ppl love to share!)

Go on and tell me more about how I make facebook posts that invite others to publicly bash people.. (I guess it's only okay when miss I'm better than everyone else even when I'm not does it?)

Rogue Falconer shared a link.
June 20
Is this some sort of joke?
This person supports gay equality, but when I, someone she DOESN'T like is dating a chick suddenly I'm homo raging and that's put to me as a derogatory term?
I think they support gay equality only when it's convenient for them...hmmmmm..

http://www.flickr.com/photos/59507138@N03/7402440700/in/photostream

Remember that one? Oh how I do love and thoroughly enjoy blatant hypocrisy :) ...and don't for a second think I've forgotten all about the IMs from you telling me to check this person's profile and that person's profile.. what was that about keeping tabs?? Wasn't it you who told me most things?.. oh right!!.. it was!!! How's Jaded's profile these days??..

Glass houses Rogue.. Glass houses.

(and then inside that notecard.. I left another reminding her of all the talking about ppl she did and all the perving of their profiles.. something she accused me of..)

Today someone came at me over things someone else said in a private convo (DJ Mixemup of Patchwork ♥) .. there was discussion in a group (Boobieshow VIP) where people were voicing opinions on appliers.. everyone had an opinion and one store owner (Dj Mixemup) IM'd a friend of mine (Hubert Swashbuckler) calling him out on his opinion.. and words were exchanged.. this girl also told him how my stuff sucks and that she is so much better than me (the same girl said that to me as well in IM)...

[08:55] Deej (dj.mixemup): nice of your partner to acuse me of being a money sucking whore.... don;t call other peoples work into question when yours aint so hot to start with! We ALL work hard of what we make and when someone is over rude for no good reason in a public forum its gets feather in a huff... your stuff isnt the best ive seen and is no where near the quality of ours, our stuff is so much better than your dollar store crap that belongs on noob island. you need to muzzle your dog! or take his dope away

after this girl IM'd him.. she then went to the event organizer (Emmins13 Sygall) of the boobie event that both her and I were a part of.. the organizer came to me about it.. I ended up leaving the event.. and that was the final straw for me.. the store owner (DJ Mixemup) showed her the private convo between her and my friend and I was taking crap for it.. I can't control other people and as far as I'm concerned.. she IM'd him.. why? why would she care what his opinion is on whether or not appliers should be sold with outfits or not.

This place is just so full of mean spirited people and that's not me. I know some would disagree because I am always one of the first to say what's on my mind.. but at the same time, I'm not a sheep.. I do things my way.. I don't follow a crowd and I'm not easily lead.. I won't and can't be controlled by anyone.. and I like that. I'm a strong woman in both worlds.

There are people here that will turn on you at the drop of a hat, they will run all over SL telling others all about you and all you have to do is stand up for yourself.. people believe others just because they've known them longer or they are in the "family". I'm not the type to go around SL to tell my story..(until now that is!!) if I have a disagreement with someone I move on and go about my day.. while others are gossipping like in high school I was usually working or afk playing RL.

I had another designer/friend (Devil Damone) get mad at me because my avatar was in the same place as someone else's (Fenom Gasparini) for less than 5 minutes. See, this guy claimed I hit on him (when I didn't) and I called him on it.. he then told all his "followers" that I was mad at him and bitched at him for telling everyone I hit on him.. I sent him another IM to remind him I would never and how he should stop lying.. well this guy is a close friend of that designer/friend.. so when I was tp'd to a place he was at by a friend.. (I left when I realized he was there and I never said a word) he whined to her about me being there.. and she hasn't spoken to me since.

I probably could go on and on for days.. this place is full of people who for whatever reason thinks it's okay to bully people and put others down to make themselves feel better.. people here have no issues about stomping on others to get ahead.. and that's just not something I feel I can be a part of any more.

One day in a convo with another store owner (Toxxic Rhiannyr)... she told me about how she wants to sooooo bad sit next to brands like Luck Inc and Puncture and that she goes out of her way to try and be in the same places they are just to "meet" them.. and in a way, it disgusted me.. creators aren't celebrities... we're people, though some have more skills in photoshop than others but at the end of the day we're just people.. people who give up our time and energy to focus on this place we call secondlife.. sometimes our real lives suffer because of the time we spend here. I don't want to be that person anymore.

I apologize for any errors.. I never re-read this.. I did have a blast with creating.. I've met some great people and have had a good time.. but when you put this much time and energy in to something only to be treated like dirt.. it becomes a question of... what makes you happy.. some days I sit in this chair (especially the end of the month) for HOURS that when I get up I am soooo stiff.. and ya know.. the pain of that and everything in this notecard was overtaking any joy I had left.

My bloggers and close friends is what kept me going the past couple months that I pondered closing the store.. and I thank them from the bottom of my heart.. they know who they are and they mean the world to me.. always.